an introduction and example

Hey there

so this is my blog, thanks for signing on to read it.
ill start with introducing my background

I'm 18 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia and "dyslexic tenancies " (apparently the two go hand in hand alot...) when i finished year nine, aged 14.
I always knew i was different. dont get me wrong, i made friends easily, go on holidays and id have made a friend before we've even finnished unpacking or setting up camp.i loved primary school, i loved singing, and enjoyed acting, and helping class mates if they were stuck. i had an active and vivid imagination,and loved to play in the sand, or in the water. but often i much more enjoyed playing along, because then i wouldn't be judged, and i had a massive aversion to change.( amplified greatly in year 6 age 10 with the separation and divorce of my parents)

Wilst i was younger, my biggest problem was my handwriting,no matter how hard i tried i couldnt write neatly. i tried hard but i couldnt join up my handwriting. i would smufdge my work. not helped by the fact my primary school made the use of fouaintin pens compulsary.
the only other things that made me different were that i found swimming difficult - couldnt do front crawl without roling onto my back.
oh and there was the inability to throw or catch - i was always so proud and surprised when i succeeded. the final noticeable difference was that, despite everything always being in the same place, i was constantly bumping and bashin into things , tables, chairs,doors and dorways.

i was a bright child, always smiling, very ahppy and studious and focused child. i made mistakes sure. but i was one of the best readers in my class, and whilst i was younger i was also one of the best at spelling.Maybe thats why noone noticed?
they say that the intelligent kids are worst off because they are ignored by teachers, the teachers focus on helping the other kids learn whats needed,. so its the brightest that are missed. the slower children, it shows in their tests so they are picked up, and if they are lucky take extra lessons at home to catch up. all the other kids are fine. but the brighter kids, they can look after themselves. just set them extra work, after all they are surpassing expectations of their age anyway.



SO what made me so different?



well -  i always knew i was different, as ive said. one reason being the handwring thing, the other was that i found it that much easyer to be friends with those older than me. my mum worried about me , bacuase she knew eventually my friends would leave primary school, and id have no friends left. and for the mst part she was right. afterall it wasnt making friends but more keeping friends, or comunicating with people who didnt know me, that i fount difficult.


i was always the weird one in clas, am stil even now at university.
The problem i have, bar the balance, rubish handwriting which was and is constantly made fun of,and the increasing inability to spell, the problem i have is comunication.


When i talk to others im not always awear that what i said may be hurtful, rude, sound sarcastic or incincear. so, often i am mis understood. recently i joked about how a friend of mine had done everything - to her this sounded like i was saying that she was boasting, tht it was unfair, and that i disliked her for it. but actually i was telling her "WoW" because i found it amazing that shed already experienced so much in life where as i, always hold my self back, so have barely done a fraction. i was saying i thought her cool, and inspiring and saying i wish i was her and had done so much.
im constantly told im rude. and if im not realy focusing,or thinking about it, i can make terrible first impressions.

i was, am and ever shall be called weird for my differences. my lack of seeing the problem with doing socially uncepted things.( appaerntly its strange to hate wearing socks...?or hate tight clothing?)  my dislike of going out clubbing, my inability to deal with large friendship groups, or the fact that even now approaching the age of 19, i have only just truely experienced what it is like to have a group of friends who know and like each other, as opposed to having one or two friends scattered around in different groups.


so, lets explain a bit about dyspraxia shall we?

Dyspraxia is a dysability which is not very well known. it effects several aspects of the person with dyspraxia , and i think its dysplaid differntly.
 if you google it, often you just find a lst f symptoms.
so. its the brain. its wired differently to others.
in my case i cant pick up on subtitles of speech and my balance and muscle control is poor. oh and  i cant stop fiddling or fighting, i realy cant!


my parents didnt get me dagonsed until year 9, even though they say they noticied something was wrng as early as the age of 11, if not sooner.

they did this because they didnt want me to think it was my fault that i was differnt, my fault for the disability.

sadly their attempt to protect me, lead to me  not being understood by my farther, who would get frustrated and yell when his supposedly intelligent daughter, didnt understand what he was saying, thinking i was pretending, or being awquared on purpose.
It lead me to not understand why everyone atround me thought i was so weird, and why i didnt feel i fitted in with certain groups.


i found my place, in the library, and in the computer rooms. places where i could hide my face and myself and fade into the background.


I BEG anyone reading this, if they think their child has a dysability, to get them tested, because its a lot worse to grow up thinking there is something wrong with youre personality and that you fail as a person not realising their is a reason. than to have a label put on you,to get help and understading. because, you can just blame the label, not you.
i often say its not my fault, its the dyspraxia.
its not an excuse
But its an explination
and we are all searching for answers
and without them, i ended up hating myself all the more. with them, i can keep trying to become better