so as part of my dyspraxia there are a few things im uncomfortable with - my sence of touch, Is I gues heightend, so i always hated wearing tight clothes,especially anything which had high necks, so scarfs, neck chockers,short chained necklasses long sleeved clothes or skinny jeans were and still in part are TORTURE!! I mean, not litterally, but I have to fight the urge to claw off anything which is too tight!
This makes clothe buying a challenge, especialy with all the fasions on tight clothes last year. consiquently im not a strong follower of fashion, but im trying harder now to make an effort on my appearance (soo boring!) im not a tom boy, but im not a girly girl either. and as i think i said before - i hate socks!
generally the dislike of tight clothes from my reaserch, and conversations with others, is quite common especially with younger children, and i find my angsiety, for thats what it is for me as well as discomfort, over tight clothes is lessening as i get older -providing my clothes streach of course
Big no,no's on my list include :
Tights - could their be a more tght fitting item of clothing?
anything that is tight, or clinging to my waist/stomach area
socks - if i dont have 2 wear them - off they will come!
Scarfs - TORTURE!!!
anything touching anywear near the reagin where my adams apple resides.. or wht ever its cald when you are female...
Long sleve tops - in part because of the tightnes ,eek, but a little to do with the exmae on the inside of my elbows
leggings - ive worn these a few times and im warming up to them, but if i was a few years younger, theres no way i would have worn them
My FAVE CLOTHES:
Anything baggy or loose
if its not in permanent contact with my skin, its a god send. the weather today is suny , if a little cold meaning i can wear less clothing
Skirts - althoug its been pointed out i dont sit in the most feminine of ways, so these stay at home mostly
Flowng dresses - the kind which are close, but not restrictive - anything which prevents movement is a no!
Shorts - specifically board shorts, im no surfer, i tried once and it was fun, they arent a fassion statement, just extreeemly comfortable
Baggy trousers - joggers 3 quarter lenghs,material ones are lovely - sadly i cant wear these as much as i like with my friends as i would be labeld a chav, r frumpy .. grrr fasion s an inconvienience, but when you're trying to fit in and feel omfey, i found the best mid point to be jeens - still not 2 tight, but makes it look like youve made an effort . even if the fasion has changed to wearing leggings with EVERYTHING, wont be doing that anytime soon
so those are the clothes i like most.colours no big thing, its comfort , both on my skin, and in outward apperance. but it doesnt matter how good the item makes me look, if i cant stand the feel of it on my skin - out it goes!
Its not just how tight clothes are, but how they feel, i have no idea if this is to do with dyspraxia or not, but if its made of wool, n way am i wearing it!
i have to stick with cotton for the most, i hate the feeling of anything lacy - bad luck for whoever my soulmate turns out to be, but being them (who ever they are) i believe they will find me beautiful, without having to wera lacy dreses poofy skirts with netting underlay or anything like that .
Dressing :
oh now thats been great fun all my life (heavy sarcasm)
part of dyspraxia as ive said before is difficulty controling your muscles/ body movments - PAIN
so when it came to clothes,well buttons and shoelaces proved a problem, and buttons are still a bit too fiddly for my liking. i stuck with velcro for as long as i could growing up.
oh heels,what a wonderously evil invention, sorry to alianete you guys
but seriously! as a growing female, if i'm expected to dress up, heels are beoming more and more of an expectation, and it realy is a balancing act - and doing them up is a battle in itself
I actually got dressed for work one day, and didn't notice until 3 hours in that my shirt was inside out, and that id gotten half way through removing my pj top before forgetting what i was doing, so walked arround work for half of my shift with my pj top arround my waist, luckily it wasn't visible as i was wearing a work given jacket , but it gave us all something to laugh about
(sources - dyspraxia foundation)
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Saturday, 12 March 2011
speaking before you think
This is one of the most anoying things EVER!
I've been told its because my mouth works faster than my brain, yet ive also been told my brain works faster than my hand (when im writing i miss out words - sorry if this happens here)
Now, smetimes i will ask people questions. not to be mean, not to be rude, but to gain a better understanding of them and the world arround me. ive always been extreemly inquisitive ad love taking things appart so i can see how they work and put them right back together.
My fave question is WHY?
why do you always use that pen?
why are you wearing jelwery to bed?
why do you always wear that hat?
Why does the food taste different to normal?
these questions dnt mean i dislike, or judge you for what you are doing, i just want to know why, as ive been told that they arent normal,yet to you they are, but anything out of the ordaniry i do makes me completly different and a person to be judged?
questions just come right out of my mouth, no sencorship, i dont think about tone, timeing, or appropriatenes of the situation, or how others might feel. some, many infact say im being thoughtles, and in a way i am. but sometimes, ive been thinking about the question for the last ten mins and i think im asking ok. but im not
Questions are hard!
I've been told its because my mouth works faster than my brain, yet ive also been told my brain works faster than my hand (when im writing i miss out words - sorry if this happens here)
Now, smetimes i will ask people questions. not to be mean, not to be rude, but to gain a better understanding of them and the world arround me. ive always been extreemly inquisitive ad love taking things appart so i can see how they work and put them right back together.
My fave question is WHY?
why do you always use that pen?
why are you wearing jelwery to bed?
why do you always wear that hat?
Why does the food taste different to normal?
these questions dnt mean i dislike, or judge you for what you are doing, i just want to know why, as ive been told that they arent normal,yet to you they are, but anything out of the ordaniry i do makes me completly different and a person to be judged?
questions just come right out of my mouth, no sencorship, i dont think about tone, timeing, or appropriatenes of the situation, or how others might feel. some, many infact say im being thoughtles, and in a way i am. but sometimes, ive been thinking about the question for the last ten mins and i think im asking ok. but im not
Questions are hard!
an introduction and example
Hey there
so this is my blog, thanks for signing on to read it.
ill start with introducing my background
I'm 18 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia and "dyslexic tenancies " (apparently the two go hand in hand alot...) when i finished year nine, aged 14.
I always knew i was different. dont get me wrong, i made friends easily, go on holidays and id have made a friend before we've even finnished unpacking or setting up camp.i loved primary school, i loved singing, and enjoyed acting, and helping class mates if they were stuck. i had an active and vivid imagination,and loved to play in the sand, or in the water. but often i much more enjoyed playing along, because then i wouldn't be judged, and i had a massive aversion to change.( amplified greatly in year 6 age 10 with the separation and divorce of my parents)
Wilst i was younger, my biggest problem was my handwriting,no matter how hard i tried i couldnt write neatly. i tried hard but i couldnt join up my handwriting. i would smufdge my work. not helped by the fact my primary school made the use of fouaintin pens compulsary.
the only other things that made me different were that i found swimming difficult - couldnt do front crawl without roling onto my back.
oh and there was the inability to throw or catch - i was always so proud and surprised when i succeeded. the final noticeable difference was that, despite everything always being in the same place, i was constantly bumping and bashin into things , tables, chairs,doors and dorways.
i was a bright child, always smiling, very ahppy and studious and focused child. i made mistakes sure. but i was one of the best readers in my class, and whilst i was younger i was also one of the best at spelling.Maybe thats why noone noticed?
they say that the intelligent kids are worst off because they are ignored by teachers, the teachers focus on helping the other kids learn whats needed,. so its the brightest that are missed. the slower children, it shows in their tests so they are picked up, and if they are lucky take extra lessons at home to catch up. all the other kids are fine. but the brighter kids, they can look after themselves. just set them extra work, after all they are surpassing expectations of their age anyway.
SO what made me so different?
well - i always knew i was different, as ive said. one reason being the handwring thing, the other was that i found it that much easyer to be friends with those older than me. my mum worried about me , bacuase she knew eventually my friends would leave primary school, and id have no friends left. and for the mst part she was right. afterall it wasnt making friends but more keeping friends, or comunicating with people who didnt know me, that i fount difficult.
i was always the weird one in clas, am stil even now at university.
The problem i have, bar the balance, rubish handwriting which was and is constantly made fun of,and the increasing inability to spell, the problem i have is comunication.
When i talk to others im not always awear that what i said may be hurtful, rude, sound sarcastic or incincear. so, often i am mis understood. recently i joked about how a friend of mine had done everything - to her this sounded like i was saying that she was boasting, tht it was unfair, and that i disliked her for it. but actually i was telling her "WoW" because i found it amazing that shed already experienced so much in life where as i, always hold my self back, so have barely done a fraction. i was saying i thought her cool, and inspiring and saying i wish i was her and had done so much.
im constantly told im rude. and if im not realy focusing,or thinking about it, i can make terrible first impressions.
i was, am and ever shall be called weird for my differences. my lack of seeing the problem with doing socially uncepted things.( appaerntly its strange to hate wearing socks...?or hate tight clothing?) my dislike of going out clubbing, my inability to deal with large friendship groups, or the fact that even now approaching the age of 19, i have only just truely experienced what it is like to have a group of friends who know and like each other, as opposed to having one or two friends scattered around in different groups.
so, lets explain a bit about dyspraxia shall we?
Dyspraxia is a dysability which is not very well known. it effects several aspects of the person with dyspraxia , and i think its dysplaid differntly.
if you google it, often you just find a lst f symptoms.
so. its the brain. its wired differently to others.
in my case i cant pick up on subtitles of speech and my balance and muscle control is poor. oh and i cant stop fiddling or fighting, i realy cant!
my parents didnt get me dagonsed until year 9, even though they say they noticied something was wrng as early as the age of 11, if not sooner.
they did this because they didnt want me to think it was my fault that i was differnt, my fault for the disability.
sadly their attempt to protect me, lead to me not being understood by my farther, who would get frustrated and yell when his supposedly intelligent daughter, didnt understand what he was saying, thinking i was pretending, or being awquared on purpose.
It lead me to not understand why everyone atround me thought i was so weird, and why i didnt feel i fitted in with certain groups.
i found my place, in the library, and in the computer rooms. places where i could hide my face and myself and fade into the background.
I BEG anyone reading this, if they think their child has a dysability, to get them tested, because its a lot worse to grow up thinking there is something wrong with youre personality and that you fail as a person not realising their is a reason. than to have a label put on you,to get help and understading. because, you can just blame the label, not you.
i often say its not my fault, its the dyspraxia.
its not an excuse
But its an explination
and we are all searching for answers
and without them, i ended up hating myself all the more. with them, i can keep trying to become better
so this is my blog, thanks for signing on to read it.
ill start with introducing my background
I'm 18 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia and "dyslexic tenancies " (apparently the two go hand in hand alot...) when i finished year nine, aged 14.
I always knew i was different. dont get me wrong, i made friends easily, go on holidays and id have made a friend before we've even finnished unpacking or setting up camp.i loved primary school, i loved singing, and enjoyed acting, and helping class mates if they were stuck. i had an active and vivid imagination,and loved to play in the sand, or in the water. but often i much more enjoyed playing along, because then i wouldn't be judged, and i had a massive aversion to change.( amplified greatly in year 6 age 10 with the separation and divorce of my parents)
Wilst i was younger, my biggest problem was my handwriting,no matter how hard i tried i couldnt write neatly. i tried hard but i couldnt join up my handwriting. i would smufdge my work. not helped by the fact my primary school made the use of fouaintin pens compulsary.
the only other things that made me different were that i found swimming difficult - couldnt do front crawl without roling onto my back.
oh and there was the inability to throw or catch - i was always so proud and surprised when i succeeded. the final noticeable difference was that, despite everything always being in the same place, i was constantly bumping and bashin into things , tables, chairs,doors and dorways.
i was a bright child, always smiling, very ahppy and studious and focused child. i made mistakes sure. but i was one of the best readers in my class, and whilst i was younger i was also one of the best at spelling.Maybe thats why noone noticed?
they say that the intelligent kids are worst off because they are ignored by teachers, the teachers focus on helping the other kids learn whats needed,. so its the brightest that are missed. the slower children, it shows in their tests so they are picked up, and if they are lucky take extra lessons at home to catch up. all the other kids are fine. but the brighter kids, they can look after themselves. just set them extra work, after all they are surpassing expectations of their age anyway.
SO what made me so different?
well - i always knew i was different, as ive said. one reason being the handwring thing, the other was that i found it that much easyer to be friends with those older than me. my mum worried about me , bacuase she knew eventually my friends would leave primary school, and id have no friends left. and for the mst part she was right. afterall it wasnt making friends but more keeping friends, or comunicating with people who didnt know me, that i fount difficult.
i was always the weird one in clas, am stil even now at university.
The problem i have, bar the balance, rubish handwriting which was and is constantly made fun of,and the increasing inability to spell, the problem i have is comunication.
When i talk to others im not always awear that what i said may be hurtful, rude, sound sarcastic or incincear. so, often i am mis understood. recently i joked about how a friend of mine had done everything - to her this sounded like i was saying that she was boasting, tht it was unfair, and that i disliked her for it. but actually i was telling her "WoW" because i found it amazing that shed already experienced so much in life where as i, always hold my self back, so have barely done a fraction. i was saying i thought her cool, and inspiring and saying i wish i was her and had done so much.
im constantly told im rude. and if im not realy focusing,or thinking about it, i can make terrible first impressions.
i was, am and ever shall be called weird for my differences. my lack of seeing the problem with doing socially uncepted things.( appaerntly its strange to hate wearing socks...?or hate tight clothing?) my dislike of going out clubbing, my inability to deal with large friendship groups, or the fact that even now approaching the age of 19, i have only just truely experienced what it is like to have a group of friends who know and like each other, as opposed to having one or two friends scattered around in different groups.
so, lets explain a bit about dyspraxia shall we?
Dyspraxia is a dysability which is not very well known. it effects several aspects of the person with dyspraxia , and i think its dysplaid differntly.
if you google it, often you just find a lst f symptoms.
so. its the brain. its wired differently to others.
in my case i cant pick up on subtitles of speech and my balance and muscle control is poor. oh and i cant stop fiddling or fighting, i realy cant!
my parents didnt get me dagonsed until year 9, even though they say they noticied something was wrng as early as the age of 11, if not sooner.
they did this because they didnt want me to think it was my fault that i was differnt, my fault for the disability.
sadly their attempt to protect me, lead to me not being understood by my farther, who would get frustrated and yell when his supposedly intelligent daughter, didnt understand what he was saying, thinking i was pretending, or being awquared on purpose.
It lead me to not understand why everyone atround me thought i was so weird, and why i didnt feel i fitted in with certain groups.
i found my place, in the library, and in the computer rooms. places where i could hide my face and myself and fade into the background.
I BEG anyone reading this, if they think their child has a dysability, to get them tested, because its a lot worse to grow up thinking there is something wrong with youre personality and that you fail as a person not realising their is a reason. than to have a label put on you,to get help and understading. because, you can just blame the label, not you.
i often say its not my fault, its the dyspraxia.
its not an excuse
But its an explination
and we are all searching for answers
and without them, i ended up hating myself all the more. with them, i can keep trying to become better
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)